Janet Stilson

As If We Are Giants

As I write this post, my closest cousin, Skip, is skating across treacherous territory, consumed by Stage 4 cancer in his lungs and brain as well as infections related to his terribly weakened body.

And as I, and so many others, wait to hear what could very likely be dreaded news, I keep remembering the last time we spoke, when he expressed to me how surprised he was by the outpouring of love he’s received from more people than he ever could have imagined. Indeed, his hospital room in Dallas is like Grand Central Station at times; there are so many friends and family members coming and going.

I was surprised by his surprise. I always know a fun conversation is on the way when I pick up the phone and hear him say, “Well, hello there!” in his deep voice, like a bear but honeyed. And I know I’m not alone in sensing that. I’ve always been struck by how much he just loves people in general, which is why he’s such a great sales person.

 Before his illness, if you were going on an adventure, Skip is the sort of guy you’d like to bring along -- a Swiss Army knife of intelligence, comedic moments and resourcefulness.  His generosity to other family members has been outstanding, including to me.

When I consider all the people collected around Skip and his amazement, I am reminded once again about how one person can impact others in ways that individual may think of as very slight.

I’ve enjoyed and been inspired by the famous people whom I’ve written about over the years, or whom I’ve encountered in other ways. Their stories are often fascinating, sometimes enthralling. But there are some largely unsung heroes who have touched me as well.

The Genius of 'Lincoln'

Some of the soundbites that resonated with me most deeply during the Academy Awards ceremony last Sunday had to do with storytelling. Not surprising, given who I am. But consider a thought from the late, amazing Nora Ephron (Sleepless in Seattle). She noted in the memoriam video that the hardest part about writing is writing. And in the same video, the Oscar-winning producer Richard Zanuck said that the most important part of a film is the story itself – not the script, he stressed – but the story.

A little later on, in his acceptance speech for the best original script award, the writer-director Quentin Tarantino referred to all the extraordinary writers who were nominated this year by saying this was “the year of the writer.”

On the one hand, I recall some pretty amazing scribes competing against each other in past years. But on the other, I also have to agree that the competition was really stiff this year. I  was rooting for Tony Kushner to win the best adapted screenplay award for Lincoln. He lost to Chris Terrio, who wrote the very finely crafted script for Argo. 

My interest in Kushner winning had as much to do with my admiration for his work as it has to do with the personal journey I’ve taken over the last few months, studying the script; the movie Lincoln as a whole, as well as the book it’s based on, Doris Kearns Goodwin’s huge biography Team of Rivals: the Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln.  (That was one long lollipop to suck on.) 

I wanted to find out about the rocket fuel Kushner used to give director Steven Spielberg and his extraordinary cast, headed by Daniel Day-Lewis and Sally Field, the ability to orbit into a universe of jostling, larger-than-life historical figures.

My Grandmother's Ghost

About two months ago, I had quite the mystical experience. I was standing in a white, warm church in upstate New York that was packed with a Christmas Eve crowd. Three angelic girls with long blonde curls sat in the pew in front of me. My mother – nearly 90 years old and in great health – was at my side. And up at the altar, my dear sister Marian and niece Hannah were helping to deliver the service. 

The air was filled with the smell of melting candle wax and the floral scent of perfume. A few miles away, there was a huge mound of gifts under a Christmas tree for me and those I love.  

And yet it took all my strength to curb my sobs. I couldn’t contain my grief. My grandmother, dead now for many years, was standing beside me, singing in her hopeful, quavering voice: “Silent night, holy night; All is calm, all is bright … ”

“Ghost” is the only word I know that comes close to what I was experiencing.

Lovely to the Bone

When Marlon Richards was seven years old, he went on a European tour with his dad, Keith Richards, along with the rest of The Rolling Stones. He helped his father navigate his Bentley from one country to the next; jarred him awake when it was time to move on (despite the pistol under his pillow), and played chess with the mountain-sized bodyguards.  

Those recollections from Marlon make up a very small portion of Keith Richards’ autobiography, Life. But they are an integral part of the larger storytelling structure developed by Keith – the guitarist, vocalist and songwriter – along with his writing partner, James Fox.  And I find it quite inspiring.

“Structure?  Inspiring?” you may ask.  “Absolutely!” I reply.  Looking at a story’s bones may not sound particularly sexy, but it’s actually fascinating – and something that’s best to think through in the early stages, if you’re creating a story yourself.  Inspiration can be found for this in all kinds of different places.  Because when you get right down to the heart of it, structuring involves patterns, which is a little something that artists like Richards know all about.

Stripping Down to Beauty

Can you imagine what it would be like if your father was Mr. Universe and your mother was a famous sex symbol? That is the fate of Mariska Hargitay, whose parents are the legendary screen star Jayne Mansfield and the Hungarian actor and bodybuilder Micky Hargitay. Recently she reminded me of something very important to keep in mind when writing or speaking about your life.

Mariska talked about her mother during a huge benefit gala last month that I helped to produce. She was being honored by New York Women in Film & Television (NYWIFT) for her work as a performer and philanthropist.

Mariska is best known for her role as Olivia Benson in the TV series Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.  But most people are unaware of a very tragic incident that occurred when she was a three-year-old. Jayne Mansfield was killed in a car accident in Louisiana. Mariska and her two brothers were asleep in the backseat, and they all survived.

That certainly wasn’t in my memory bank as NYWIFT prepared for the annual Muse Awards luncheon gala. I was experiencing something akin to dread.

Learn Before You Leap: Advice From a Literary Agent

One of the toughest aspects of storytelling involves figuring out a project’s commercial appeal.  Maybe you’d like to create a book, film or video that’s just for your family and friends. That’s perfectly fine. But if you would like to reach a mass audience, it pays to understand whether or not your concept has commercial potential by discovering the perspective of agents, publishers or film/video distributors.

You could save yourself from healing a broken heart later on if you understand what these sorts of people are looking for in the early stages of development. Maybe you want to self publish a book. Who cares about the bigwigs at Random House! You’ll do it your way! Even then, there are some insights worth learning in advance.

To give some perspective, I asked a friend and colleague, Ellen Geiger, to share some “tough love” advice about biographical projects in particular. I wanted her to give us the facts straight, without any coddling.  And believe me, she knows how to do that. Ellen is a 20-year veteran of the book, film and television industries and a partner at the Frances Goldin Literary Agency, which handles over 100 authors of both fiction and nonfiction. 

The agency represents a wide range of projects and includes authors such as Barbara Kingsolver, Dorothy Allison, the late Adrienne Rich and the estate of Margaret Wise Brown, author of the children's classic Goodnight Moon.  Ellen currently serves on the board of the Association of Authors' Representatives. And she and I first met when she was president of New York Women in Film and Television's board of directors. 

Ellen gave me some thoughts in a recent e-mail.  I’ve provided it below, editing it ever so slightly, and only for clarity.

The Attraction of Opposites

Have you ever been struck with how contradictory people can be? Take for example one of my former bosses. She was the executive director of a nonprofit dedicated to the needs of underprivileged children. In the office she was so serene and gentle. But behind the wheel of her Saab, she turned into a maniac spewing salty language at the (ah-hem) creative drivers amongst us.

It’s in our very nature to have polarized personality traits. And masterful storytellers know how to use them to make people spring to life on the page, whether they’re fictional personalities or someone they’ve known in real life. That shading is absolutely critical so that audiences can truly “feel” a person’s presence. 

Peeling an Onion at the Chelsea Hotel

Imagine a skinny young woman whose head is filled with poetry. She’s an embodiment of the term “starving artist” and lives in the Chelsea Hotel, which was once a safe haven for a wide assortment of creative types in New York City. One day in the summer of ’69, she walks into the restaurant that’s part of the hotel wearing a long navy dress with white polka dots and a straw hat. 

Sitting at one table is Janis Joplin, the ragged-voiced songtress, surrounded by her band. Then she sees the wizardly guitarist Jimi Hendrix, wearing a hat  and sharing a meal with a blonde beauty. At a slight distance away is the high priestess of rock, Grace Slick, and other members of the Jefferson Airplane. And lo and behold, there’s Country Joe and the Fish! 

Musicians were everywhere in the room – all gathered like magnificent migrating birds – on their way to make history at the landmark music festival, Woodstock. And the young poet was none other than Patti Smith before her own fame as a rock ‘n roll artist took hold. 

Smith describes what she witnessed that day deep within her biography Just Kids, which is as much about herself as it is about the provocative photographer Robert Mapplethorpe, her dear friend.

Turning Grit Into Pearls

One of my friends recently uncovered a family secret that really threw him for a loop.  And as his tale is of the dark variety, I’ll call him Robert to keep his identity private.  Robert’s grandfather was raised by an upstanding family, and was a member of New Orleans’ elite society. But he swindled countless people not just in the United States, but in Europe as well. And he tended to abandon his wives – including Robert’s grandmother.  

My friend made his discovery against all odds, as his own father had taken pains to hide it from his children. 

This serves as a reminder to me of how real-life stories can become lost, or nearly lost. Although in most instances, the reasons for this are quite innocent. That’s an important reason why the launch of Heritage Masterpiece with my partner, Tracy Nazzaro, fills me with great excitement.  

Each story I convey is like a living organism – something to be treated with great reverence.  And like Robert, I share a great curiosity about the lives that have come before us. 

A 'Wonder Woman' of Substance

It seems to me that the question we should be asking ourselves is not whether or not our glass is half empty or full, but rather: What is the substance inside it? And what does the glass look like?  

As I write this, mine is a long-stemmed glass filled with Chateauneuf du Papes, that queen of all Cotes du Rhone wines. Tomorrow, maybe it won't be a glass at all, but rather an earthen mug filled with deep, rich green tea from the hills surrounding West Lake in China. I have a treasured memory of sipping tea in a little restaurant there. Its flavor was enhanced by someone telling me, at the time, that green tea can actually improve your eyesight. I love the idea of that, whether or not it's actually true.

Occasionally I write a story about someone who seems to have filled their own drinking vessel with a very rarified substance, and as they tell me about their world, it is as if they offer me a delicious sip.

There was a bit of that feeling when I recently interviewed Rebecca Glashow, pictured here. She is senior vice president of digital media distribution at Discovery Communications.The media trade publication Multichannel News named her one of its Wonder Women, and asked me to tell the tale.